Caption Competition- it never ends! If you think you have a caption, and it's not without humour, send it in to jonowardle@hotmail.com or jonathanbarnicoat@googlemail.com and who knows, one day someone may win a prize...
September 2010
 Van Gogh: I told Kath she needed to trim her bush!
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August 2010
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Dan Dare: This could be Penryn when 350+ Birthday Riders arrive soon!
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Perran: KK announced on his new facebook/twitter page that there was a 10am ride.
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Swallow: The 2011 Cyclethon looks a little more serious...
Jim: Lorna found there were a few others leaving John O'Groats to Lands End
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July 2010 (2 pictures this month)
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Van Gogh: The ugly mutt on the bar stool liked to have his ears rubbed. Unfortunately the spaniel couldn't reach.
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Dan Dare: This was nearly me on the Dartmoor Classic!
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June 2010
 Jono: Sadly, some unfortunate Falmouth Wheelers failed to notice the giant man-eating seagull land behind them as they munched on their pasties…
Solo: It's a seagoing buzzard.
Parky(or rather the seagull): Aha! All those GULLable Falmouth Wheelers. I'll have Denise's sandwich in a minute...
May 2010
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Swallow: Bloody motorists on their mobile phones...
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Dan Dare: What's this about Pops Gunner slowing down? Looks as though he's as fast as ever - and he's multi-tasking!
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Solo: Has he seen Solo coming round the corner?
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April 2010
 Solo: The shame of being a Wheeler; one hangs his head in shame; one weeps into his hanky; one hides behind a mystery man and Richard2 tries blending into the background.
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March 2010
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Solo: Red Leader and KK complain that their beds are too far apart again...
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Dan Dare: ...at least there's room to park their bikes.
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Lance: It's plenty big enough for Bert.
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Feburary 2010
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Swallow: Don Gunner takes every precaution when taking club funds to the bank.
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Perran: Lance's new bike to handle the kids in Hayle.
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Dan Dare: Red Leader takes wheel-sucking to a frightening new level!
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January 2010
 Red Adair: This is only a starter without Fried Bread & Toast.
Jono: Auntie Gill doesn't do fry-ups, but if she did...
Solo: Schalatchi goes for the 'dieter's breakfast'.
Dan Dare: Thanks for showing me what to expect at the first grub stop on the Dartmoor Classic!
December 2009
 Kym: Clearly a woman's bike: the seat is down.
Kym: Piddle power - the green way to travel.
Kym: I've heard of recycling but...
Solo: Wheelers at your convenience.
Fred: See - men can multi-task after all!
Clive: Carlsberg don't make bikes...
Dan Dare: Nothing unusual here - just a bog-standard fitting to many bikes!
November 2009
 Dan Dare: Wheelers overdo the ice cream during visit to Roskilly's.
October 2009
 Parky: Scalatchi captures his unwanted gas and makes a new greener form of transport. Tri-Logic Mike: Charlie Prior trying out the RNAS Culdrose station engineers' rapid response bike. Lance: As I've told you, there are times that you never stand behaind Scalatchi... Buzzard: ...didn't recognise Scalatchi in that new helmet. Dan Dare: Don Morris using new technology to out-sprint a Jack Russell. Red Leader: The testing of the new shorts with the reinforced gusset proved to be very strenuous. Bernie: Fred confirms that ASDA beans do not have quite the same thrust as Heinz... Lance: New, and very effective, anti wheel-sucker device has some minor health and safety issues. September 2009
 Kym: But Dad, I thought you were supposed to sit on it and pedal?
Dan Dare: A young Don Gunner asks why the nasty copper has grabbed his new bike.
Lorna: Is it true what they say Dad? That you never regret going?
August 2009
(and we have 2 pictures this month- thanks Parky)
 Swallow: The Penzance Wheelers finally find some club kit they can wear in the rain.
John Taylor: The Berlin Wheelers were quite strict about their peleton formation and
club colours. Dan Dare: Ve cannot ze haus from here - gott in himmel!
Lance: Don't tell them your name Trev...oops!
Jono: For some reason, ever since the arrival of the new style club kit
the wheelers were getting more abuse than usual...
 Perran: ...confirms the club motto. (A drinking club with a cycling problem.)
Dan Dare: Looks like Mikey's pulling the wrong trailer!
Bernie: Lance picks up some vital supplies for the Wheeler's BBQ.
July 2009
 Bernie: I always drive Landrovers!
Solo: Jill tells Charlie next time we take the ski lift.
Red Adair: The hills were alive with the sound of (not quite music) the two Jills' expletives.
Bernie: Brian and Jill at their peak!
Dan Dare: I know Halvasso is a bit of a drag but isn't this over the top?
June 2009
 Red Leader: Knowing how reliable the Mexican Navy are K.K. decided to wear his
rubber ring under his shirt at all times.
Swallow: Falmouth Wheelers were not very impressed with Brittany Ferries' cutbacks.
Lance: Falmouth Wheelers try DIY cruising. Not been a big success so far...
Solo: Don't worry Kath, KK has his hand on it...
Dan Dare: KK's new shorts were a bit big - with four wheelers sharing, there was still room!
May 2009
Lance: I think I can see your house from here. Why are my feet wet?
Solo: I told you not to drink that cheap Woodlane beer, how the wheelers drink it I don't know.
Dan Dare: Wheelers performing 'organic' weed control.
April 2009
Solo: After the Trailer sub-committee met at the pub there was no money left for the tow vehicle.
Lance: Blimey, I thought we had a Land Rover to tow the bike trailer. Don, your turn first.
Parky: The new 'Falmouth Road Cyle Runners Club' have beaten us to our road trailer idea -
run out and cycle back.
Dan Dare: This trailer must be quick - with five jet pipes out the back!
March 2009
Parky: Whoever thought football hooligans would get involved with cyclists? But that'll teach him for
taking a dive - the only penalty here will be an ASBO.
Jono: " And...don't...let...me...catch...you...or...your...friends...cycling...on..this..road...ever...again..."
As his rear wheel was re-modelled by an excitable gentleman wearing a Trago's leatherette version
of a Mike Hailwood motorbike jacket (circa 1978) the Falmouth Wheeler pondered
why harmless cyclists, such as he, had such a profound effect upon certain other road users.
It was to remain a mystery.
Feburary 2009
Red Leader: Even Pop Gunner had to admit that the new trail er was proving to be a great success.
Red Adair: Is that Jono second from the left?* This is the true meaning of 'one for the road.'
Could also open up the question; is this drink driving?
*I'm glad you didn't say 'first on the left'...JW
Solo: "If that's the design for the new trailer you'll get more votes..."
Dan Dare: You could feed the whole of Halvasso from this one!
 Dan Dare: Lance has got the bird because the seagull will be able to see his house before he can!
Lance: Ricky recklessly releases seagull indoors. What is going on his shorts?
(Ricky, if you want to 'have a word' with Lance over this scurrilous caption we'll tell you where he lives...Ed.)
January 2009
 Red Adair: Well, the shop was right, "It is a good lock".
£5 Jim: The circus clown strikes again.
Jono: Unfortunately, Mongo the Village Idiot never figured out why
it was always his bike that got stolen...
Dan Dare: You would think that you could stop for a pee without having your bike nicked!
Pastylover: Halfords Redruth Wheel display
December 2008
 Red Leader: An early Falmouth Wheelers' committee meeting discussing the merits
of purchasing a bicycle trailer...
Solo: Don Gunner buys his first bike.
Dan Dare: Nice view of Clive Mitchell's extended bike shop in Truro.
Fixie: Whilst developing the world’s first Cyclist’s Safety Coat Mr Altura senior overdoes it with the luminous paint and dies 6 months later from radiation poisoning. Lance: Who's over inflated all the tyres?
November 2008
(Due to recent mishaps the subject matter may well be close to several members' hearts.)
 Solo: Another typical (Falmouth) wheelers' ride.
Lance: Confused Ironman competitor getting swimming and cycling mixed up.
Mrs Editor: Ass over tit, again.
Jono: Discarded crispbag costs Britain a Gold medal.
Redadair: With several members trying out the TARMAC perhaps we could add it
to our Gourmet Guide...
October 2008
Redadair: Jono came up with his own way of keeping cool when Spinning.
Red Leader: Dan Dare, finding the carbon frame a bit quick for him, overshot the bend at Stithies Lake.
Lance: Another one of Don`s short cuts - next time I'm going to wait till the tide is out.
Redadair: Roger and Lesley have just found a way they can both enjoy exercising together.
Track Demon: Acronym SCUBA = Self Contained Underwater Bicycling Apparatus
Dan Dare: Winter and icy roads on their way - what happens when
the ice breaks on a deep puddle!
Dan Dare: Solo tries the new Flushing to Falmouth cycle route.
October 2008 (2)
 Dan Dare: Drew using his imagination re new bike - as yet invisible!
Jono: Police warn of a sharp increase in bicycle theft as thieves learn to use teleport technology…
Redleader: Byron's new Flandria C-Six frame was so light it was like riding on fresh air.
Trackdemon: New DfT campaign ''Think Bike''
Adrian: Comeback Lance takes Contador's bike away from him saying "it's my toy and you can't play"
Lance: Never let go of the handle bars when Bunny Hopping.
Amanda: Richard says “ I can’t see these new fangled stealth-bikes catching on”
Hills Scarlet (with a quote from Ricci after being helped up Treluswell): Feel the bike...
Red Adair: I can't see the Bike for the Trees.
Hills Scarlet: Harry Potter takes up cycling.
Lance: Mickey has just heard about Pop`s plans for fine`s on late sub`s
September 2008  Solo: We always knew that KK was a bit of an artist...
August 2008
 Richard: (Lance, on the right, distraught) I've ridden up this bloody great hill
only to find I can't see my house!
Red Leader: Lance breaks down after climbing the Col de Peyresourde and finding that he can't see his house from there.
Solo: I 'ate this 'ill. It makes me sick, sick, sick!
Charlie: Breaking news - Lance discovers rare form of diced carrot growing wild in the Pyrenees.
Lance: Red Leader about to park bike. Much to Lance's surprise.
July 2008
 Red Leader: Drastic measures had to be taken to separate Micky from his wallet
when it came time to settle the bar bill.
Wheelerman: Fine holiday this was. They'd nicked his bag of sweets and now they were
drawing straws for his bike. Why does it always happen to me? wondered Lance.
Dan Dare: What happens to a Wheeler who passes through Sithney without calling on Auntie Gill!
Lance: In a freak accident a cyclist loses a testicle and a heavy handed policeman tries to replace it!
Julia: It may be a somewhat unusual 'safe' place to keep your valuables...but it can prove to be a bit of a pain when you need your passport.
Parky: This guy must have banged his head, he reckons he's Lance Boardman and he can still see his house from here.
June 2008
Red Adair: Red Leader's advice is stay in front to keep the mud out of your eyes.
Dan Dare: Another one of Pop's wrong turnings has led the Wheelers up the Swanee!
Red Leader: This year's Dartmoor Devil was more severe than usual.
Jono: Why was Troon so muddy? Why were the villagers so excited? Who were those naked men coming up from behind? Luckily, Drew didn't stop to find out.
Lance: I told Don that was a muck spreader we were following, not a combine harvester!
May 2008
Red Leader: Photo of a young Don Gunner cycling with one of the earliest mobile phones.
Caroline: Father Gunner, always the entrepreneur, thought that charging the Falmouth Wheelers ladies 20p a wee (including soft paper) would see the club funds rocket.
Adrian: The vicar finds a way to get the Wheelers to confession.
March 2008
Darren: Gordon Brown reveals big cutbacks in Iraq
Red Adair: Now let's see The Penzance Wheelers get past us.
Jonathan: Charlie knew the Wheelers tricycle would be useful for his weekend job at Culdrose.
Red Leader: The Falmouth Wheelers' Treasury Team on the way to the bank with the annual sub funds.
Dan Dare: Red Leader and his 'gofer' trying to instil some discipline into a ride.
Jono: Red Leader and Rear Gunner Gunner prepare themselves for a ride past Poole Market.
February 2008
Dandare: Don on one of his frequent shopping trips to Falmouth (Joan cracking the whip is just out of the picture)
KK: Charlie coming home from France laden with Jill's new shoes.
Red Leader: Cycling to the DFS sale may not have been such a wise decision.
Jonathan: Hilary thought the idea of taking the Landrover on the Tapas Run was to carry the luggage & bike spares
Swallow: As soon as I finish this paper round I'm going out on the "Wheelers" club ride
Ben Wardle: Little Carlos got the wrong end of the stick when he was asked to be in charge of the tour's performance-enhancing drug supply.
January 2008
 Red Leader: Its most uncomfortable sitting on these armadillos dressed only in this sheet.
Jonathan: Don remembered the good old days when cycling
was more carefree and wasn't all about carbo-loading & lycra.
Darren: Thats the last time I stop to help KK with a puncture!
Swallow: I wish I'd ridden Ed's mulled wine and mince pie ride now...
Jono: Mrs Delphin Barton-Mills bravely demonstrates
how easy it is to accidently break a total of 18 health and safety regulations
whilst simply toasting the king on a bicycle.
The illuminating spectacle took place at the Falmouth Wheelers'
Grand Dinner Dance held in the recently built Membly Hall Hotel.
(Photographic Glass Plate kindly created by young Master Donald Gunner.)
Dan Dare: Look forward to wheelers dressed like this in the summer!
Tom: Eat your heart out Isadora Duncan!
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