Where are the clowns

I’m going to have to dig deep into the word jar to do two ride reports in one week. Just for info Boris Johnson gets about £50K a month for writing this sort of tosh.

A combination of half term and no traffic lights along Bicklandwater road meant a clear ride through to Union Corner but Adrian and Nigel were still there before me. Raymondo had taken up station across the other side of the road for some reason best known to himself. Kath, John, Colin and Franki arrived just after and as we set off Martyn2 joined us. The rapid pace across to Halvasso turn set the tone for the morning. For once the Falmouth contingent were in the majority, there being only Phil3, Fred and Mike2 waiting on the turn. With Jan we would be thirteen. Fred suggested the café just off the road out of Hayle, towards Lelant, and with an interesting route; heading out to Releath, Praze, Carnhell Green and St Erth. Everyone should know where we were going and how we were going to get there. There would be no losing folk. The morning started a little on the chilly side but collecting Jan at Kessel Quarry we continued on our way, soon warming up. With a few new riders joining the OGIL ride in recent weeks, and a few older ones returning, and a few who come along at irregular intervals, and a few that turn up most weeks, it is probably useful to state a few of the OGIL rules. Rule number one is never listen to the “ride leader” when he indicates the general route we will be following. It makes the ride so much more enjoyable. Rule number two is, if you complied with rule number one make sure you are at the front, and, if you don’t know where you are going go as fast as you can. Rule number three is follow anyone who has a foreign accent. He will certainly have complied with rules 1 and 2. Mind you, if you follow someone with a Cornish accent he is likely to take you up the steepest hill around and then come down and go up again because he liked it so much. Rule number four is that the Wednesday morning ride should be treated as a transition to joining the fast boys on Sundays and not a leisurely ride with those who are merely filling up time until pension day. Needless to say there were a few moments when keeping everyone in order was likened to herding cats but we had only totally lost one, Franki, by the time we came out of St Erth, across the dual carriage way and into Birdies Bistro. The sun was out and rearranging of tables meant that we all sat together in the back garden. A few years ago OGIL café stops were for a piece of cake or bacon bap but more recently the choices have included eggs benedict, courgette and avocado cake and other middle class delights and several took advantage. Even I rose to the occasion with fried eggs on focaccia. The pleasures to be had this coming Sunday, with the club Audax, were pressed upon Colin and Martyn2, with a general request to all members for donations of refreshments.

There are not so many variations on the return journey and although we spread out a little the route back through the back of Hayle, Connor Downs, Carnhell Green, Baripper, Ramsgate, Troon, and 4lanes was navigated without too much trouble. Riders pealed off as we neared home, many eager to start baking their contributions for Sunday. 48 miles for me. Dean

(Photo, “Easter Circus” by Mike Capone.)

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