Club Rideouts
Here are some ride reports which have more detail than the brief reports in the 'news' section for your pleasure - or not.
Dartmoor 2008 Cyclosportive
Spirits were high the night before. Could tomorrow possibly be the first time Falmouth Wheelers would have the chance to ride
Dartmoor in fine weather?
Indeed it was. Next morning the start was smoothly organised and 1300 cyclists pedalled away under clear blue skies. Parky was in fine form and Rocky was his usual “Hill? What hill?” fighting-fit self. Bianchi Ben (my son, a Kingston Wheeler sporting a Falmouth Wheeler top) was on a mission to get a Gold Medal and quickly disappeared in the distance. I decided to ‘tactically’ let the others speed ahead and tire themselves out so I could effortlessly scoot past them near the finish - I was no fool.
Two hours into the ride and no one could fail to notice the sticky tarmac signalling the fact that it was hot, and getting hotter. I was drinking powders as fast as I could and stuffing energy bars down every half hour. It was all pretty disgusting stuff but it had to be done and the last thing I wanted to happen was to dehydrate or run out of energy.
The new route was considerably hillier than last year and I suspected I was going to suffer, as I much prefer cycling in cold conditions than hot. The first 36 miles was superb with the Oakhampton control post laying on everything and anything a cyclist might need to get through to the next control point. I felt fit and ready for anything. With plenty of liquid on board I continued on to Princetown 35 miles away - the next control point and water stop.
This proved to be a tad too far between stops for me. 20 miles on I got cramps in both legs and had to walk up a hill or two. Double leg cramp had never happened to me before. Then I got terrible stomach cramps and felt dizzy and sick. Then I felt cold and got goose pimples and I knew this wasn’t good. I managed to limp to Princetown having to do a ‘Paula Radcliffe’ behind a garden wall a mere quarter of a mile from Portaloos and the control point, and I can tell you, there’s no dignity in that. (I apologise to the elderly lady passerby who said ‘hello’ and then almost fainted when she realised what was happening, should she ever read this.)
The medical team at Princetown control point declared me useless and gave what I was suffering from a fancy name, which I can’t remember – basically it was lack of salt causing the runs – and said it was quite common amongst athletes competing in hot conditions. I sat with a group of other sad and pathetic casualties but was grateful I didn’t have heat exhaustion which may have meant hospital. After 45 minutes I didn’t feel too bad but I reckoned it would have taken me a further 3 hours to limp to the finish (if I made it at all) so I decided that for me the ride was over.
At times like this you feel that you are the only one suffering but several others had the same condition as me and nearly all of them younger and fitter - so at least that made me feel a bit better! After a while I managed to get a lift in a van to the finish to meet Parky, Rocky and Ben upon which I discovered there had been a great deal of suffering amongst the Wheelers. Rocky and Ben had severe cramps in both legs and Parky escaped the cramps but suffered from lactic acid and the heat. They all had to walk up several hills during the ride struggling to finish, and now we were all hobbling about like drunk toddlers.
The really good news was that Parky and Ben managed to win medals, having finished in the allotted time, which was quite an achievement, even under better circumstances. I don’t know the details of Kathy and Jan’s 100km ride - which they too both finished and Jan with a damaged Achilles tendon. Well done to both.
Ironman rang to see how we faired and to congratulate us, which was much appreciated. Unfortunately I discover now that the lad who I asked to take a fetching group picture of us at the finish didn’t press the shutter button properly which is incredibly annoying as I’d ridden round with the camera expressly for that purpose!
Still, I got a picture of Princetown control point and a couple of views from the saddle.
It’s a strange feeling not completing a ride because even after cycling 71 miles and knackering your body you feel as if you haven’t done anything. Still, I’m looking forward to next year’s Dartmoor Cyclosportive and a nice still, chilly, overcast day (please).
Riders: Parky, Rocky, Kathy, Jan, Jono and Bianchi Ben
Sunday 25th May 9.00 am Ride - Bissoe
Just three riders – Redleader, Don & Jonathan met on a dull, drizzly morning. Catchphrase
for the day being – ‘It will soon burn off’
Usual route out of Falmouth, via Halvasso and then onto towards Frogpool via the Golden Lion. Bumped into Julia returning from a Sunday morning egg run to Smokey Joes and invited her for coffee @ Bissoe BH.
After a chat with Ricky (Don thinks he’ll buy everyone a drink at the next club meeting…) the riders headed out towards Carnon Downs before dropping down to Point and Devoran.
Back via Hangmans Hill where it finally stopped raining (It will soon burn off….)
Topics of conversation included Redleaders Apple trees, the sexuality of Greek sailors, how to treat men's tender bits & KK’s legendary goalkeeping skills .
32 miles in all – bit damp but good coffee, banter & exercise.
Sunday 18th May 9.00 am Ride - Gunwalloe
Nine at 9.00 am heading for Gunwalloe. Our ride took the scenic route via the back roads to Mawnan Smith, Port Navas and Constantine where Trevor had a nice 'chat' with the driver of a car. The weather was improving all the time and by the time we arrived at Gunwalloe the sun was shining.
Arrived too early for our planned coffee and cake stop, so quick thinking Don found us 'Chydane', a little known tea shop overlooking the beach. With its stunning sea views, teapots with tea cosies, proper cups and saucers and chocolate and fruit cake we had trouble tearing ourselves away.
On the return had to make a pit stop to mend Adrians slow puncture and Amanda and I watched in awe from the other side of the road as the 8 men used such speed and dexteritory it would make McLaren's team envious. With glorious weather, good company and not too many hills - it was a good ride out.
Kath Keys
Sunday 11th May Pathfinder Ride - Mullion
With eight riders meeting @ Union Corner to ride to Mullion and a great weather forecast, it looked like being a good day. Despite 10 members off on Dartmoor & partaking in the Helston Triathalon there was an excellent turnout with some 25 riders converging on the car park at Mullion. Nick's route via Poldhu Cove, Cury, St. Martins and Goonhilly
took us around beautiful parts of the Helford before heading down to the LIzard. Lunch in the sunshine and then riders split into two groups, depending on whether they were riding back to Mullion or Falmouth. Thanks to Nick & Chris for organising a great day's ride.
Pics now on the site - Full report to follow
Sunday 4th May.
9am Ride
By TrackDemon
It was a cold damp dreary morning when Amanda and I set out for HQ. We arrived at 0845 not expecting to see many wheelers due to the Hidden lanes event being held on the same day; by 0855 we’re still the only two waiting and there’s not even any Fire Appliance activity to entertain us this week! But wait a minute, what’s that coming over the horizon? Is it a bird? No, is it a plane? No, it’s Richard with a new aerodynamic haircut.
Following a 3 second intense consultation all three decided the weather was ‘es aitch one tea’ so we’d go to Bissoe Base Camp for coffee and grub.
We followed the well-ridden route through Halvasso, or at least we thought it was through the thick fog, past the top end of Stithians pond straight on up a few hills and then took a right down to Barncoose Nursery which is a really long fast decent (but not in the rain). We threw a challenge out to Richard to coast from the top to the bottom and he almost made it, slowing down to track-stand pace at one point, but just having to turn the cranks for a few metres to keep going. On arrival at Bissoe the lovely Liz was there to provide us with good hot strong coffee, bacon rolls, cake and flapjack. We left Bissoe taking a left to return via Perranwell and met Snowman coming the other way; he turned and rode with us for a while before peeling off to resume his ride. A nice ride back through Ponsanooth (apparently THE place to be seen these days) dropping off Richard en-route, Amanda and I stuck to the main road, down the by-pass back to Budock.
Sunday 28th April
Auntie Gill’s Cornish Tea (Initiation) Ceremony
Excitement greeted the Wheelers @ HQ where the fire alarm had gone off and Paul’s Fireman Sam mates thought they better pop around and make sure all the Wheelers were ok. The general plan was to ride to Auntie Gill’s but to string it out abit so Trevor didn’t get home to early and have to many chores.
Usual route out of Falmouth and then onto Stithies via ‘Lama lane’ and then ‘Secret’ road to Four Lanes.
As we headed west blue skies appeared and by the time we arrived @ Auntie Gill’s we had clocked 28 miles and thought it was good enough to sit outside once we had booted Pz Wheelers out of our seats.
As we had 3 ‘Auntie Gill virgins’ – Steve, Amanda & Drew, Auntie Gill ran through the Wheelers Cornish Tea initiation Ceremony, consisting of being annointed on the forehead with a cold teabag followed by a dob of cream (
Rhoddas of course..) on the nose.
After fantastic tea & cake – the range just seems to get bigger & better we left after Richard had tried to secure some Marmalade from the local church – he thought they were a bit busy with prayers & hymns to stop & sell him any.
Poor Steve Lightfoot was suffering with a bad back and decided to take a direct route home.
Followed much of our Audax route home via Porkellis, Wendron Hill & Halvasso. At union corner Steve & Amanda decided to head home to see what damaged KK had inflicted on the garden/neighbours with his lumberjacking, whilst the 2 Dons, Trevor, Jonathan & Drew decided a cruise around through the town centre and the seafront for an ice cream was worthwhile as the weather was so good.
Great days ride, some 45 miles and plenty of banter kept the peloton perky.
Easter Sunday 23rd March
9.00 am ride Only five really keen or totally mad wheelers were present for the 9.00am start. Strong winds and rain kept the numbers down. Under Steve's leadership it was off to Bissoe as we could be sure of a hot drink there. What would have been a most enjoyable route in better weather was taken and a good 45k ridden. Highlights were the discussion at Bissoe regarding a certain members attributes and a young rabbit falling out of a tree at Hangman Hill. Full details to follow in newsletter. Was anyone mad enough to go at 10.0am?
10.00 am ride Hola! although in Spain I have it under good authority that 4 mad'uns meet up on at 10.00. Carol (who always goes all the way) Drew, Bernie & Brian - he probably thought it was an Asian monsoon.... Not to sure of the route but they ended up at Trebah - where else?
Sunday 16th March
Red Leader:
Taking the chance for a rare lie in I joined the 10.00am start. Seven riders left H.Q. with Brian fresh from his return from the Vietnam Tour setting a fine pace.A most pleasant route was found around Stithians Lake and onto Lanner,St.Day and finally to Bissoe for refreshments. Home via Perranwell and Hangman Hill to finish off a good mornings ride of over 50k. Well done to Carol who went all the way yet again.
With drizzle in the air ten riders met at HQ @ 9.00.
Portreath was mooted but later changed to Godrevy. Usual route out of Falmouth and then across bandit country to Carmenellis and onto Bray via the muddiest road in west cornwall. Just as well Richard wasn't there or war could of broken out.
Paul & Nigel who was recovering from serious manflu (he was even off work!) left us at Blackrock -
but endorsed Horse & Jockey pasties before leaving" -
through Camborne main street (what a depressing place on a wet Sunday) and then out towards Connor Downs before cutting through some nice back lanes, well I thought they were before riding up a killer hill, before dropping down in sunshine to Godrevy cafe. Definitely one for the Wheelers' Gourmet Guide, good coffee and huge flapjacks - great place to eat & chat upstairs.
Home via Hayle and Fraddam, Praze-an-Beeble and then through Stithies and Halvasso. Roger was riding too well and needs slowing down. Almost 50 miles, although the Don decided he better cycle onto Swanpool to ensure it was the big five O.
Sunday 9th March
With the storm of the year forecasted for Monday, the Pathfinder ride organised by Dan Dare, started from HQ @ 9.00 & 10.00 with the intention of both groups meeting @ Bissoe Bike Hire Cafe. The nine o'clockers went via Truro, whilst the ten o'clock boys & girls went via Mylor. Ricci's influence at Bissoe has already seen a big improvement in the selection of food and cakes. After a group huddle I mean photo, the group left at midday under Don's leadership to head home (and with lots of detours) via Stithians. First timers Phil & Kelly rode well and left at points enroute. Good ride - 30 miles for the 10 er's and 40 miles for the 9 er's.
Red Leader: A total of 20 riders supported the first Pathfinder ride of the year. The weather stayed dry for us and apart from some strong head winds at times it was a pleasant day. Unfortunately Richard had to cry off with sickness but Don and Ironman stepped in to make sure the day was a success. It was great to see Christine again and feeling well enough to join us for coffee. See you all at the quiz.
Sunday 2nd March
Five hardy souls rode to St.Austell and back - almost 100k following Pop Gunners route. The weather was a lot kinder to us than forecasted and it turned into a very good day out. The venue for the meeting regarding a proposed CTC branch in Cornwall was impressive. More details on decision taken etc. to follow. It would make a good club run one Sunday and they have a restaurant with a wide selection of liquids and solids to make it worth while. Don't forget the quiz on the 13th.
Sunday 24th Feb
Twelve riders met at HQ @ 9.00. After admiring Don's new Altura jacket and deciding who should inherit it we left for Helston via Halvasso, Black Rock & Auntie Jills - (they were there getting ready for the season). The aim of cycling to Helston was to support Hilary at a protest march against the closure of the community centre -
hands around the boating lake was the intention - they're a militant lot down west. Being militant is hungry work so coffee, cakes and the full monty for the crew, although the flap jacks were small and poor value. Leaving Hilary to burn her bra the crew headed home via Porkellis after a long haul out on the Redruth road. No stopping for roasties. Forty five miles -
full report to follow
Please note: Older ride summaries have now been moved to their own custom page
Bike Humour
Nice boys ride Wednesday 23/7. 
Pick up your very own set of ‘no crash’ Falmouth Wheeler stabilisers from
Yes, it was to Auntie Gill’s tea rooms on Sunday for the 9 o’clockers and there was a good turn-out of 15 plus, including a growing number of girls, which is nice. The weather was perfect, and thankfully no one crashed. Nancy (new rider) and Roger both escaped Auntie Gill’s initiation ceremony. We’ll just have to jolly well go back there and do it.
Adrian has had an over handlebars experience. Most of the day in A&E, torn shoulder ligaments and lots of bruising. Photos on web later for those that like that sort of thing. Does this excuse me from the Nice boys tomorrow?
'After doing the on road route last year I decided to try the off road route this year. My husband Clive decided to join me and keep me company.
It’s that fun-and-frolicks-on-the-sand time again down on the beach. Bring a sausage, bring a friend, bring your family, for quite possibly the best BBQ evening yet. 6pm, Friday August 1st Swanpool Beach. 
Once again club heroines Gill and Caroline will be marshalling the troops for the Wheelers contribution to Falmouth culture in the form of a ‘wheelers’ carnival float’, actually we should say ‘wheelers’ carnival pedal’ since Health & Safety banned ‘floats’. What will the club’s theme be this year? It’s bound to involve humour, bad taste and bicycles - at least, let’s hope so. Clear Saturday the 9th of August in your diary.
All meet by Wadebridge cycle hire at 10am for the annual family ride. Always popular, this is a nice easy ride for young and old along the Camel valley and estuary. There will be tea and cakes and maybe even some ice cream involved.
