Falmouth Wheelers
Friday September 22 2017 
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 Welcome to Falmouth Wheelers



Welcome home.

(with the choice of photos on Facebook it might be a good time to restart the "comic caption" competition. Trainee Editor.)


Paula's LeJog report now available under "Recent Grand Tours".


Latest News

Hey, it’s good to be back home again.*
Sep 20, 2017, 11:00 pm

I paid a visit to the tip yesterday and didn’t see any bikes I recognised in the skips, so thought there would be more of the FWEF, the Falmouth Wheelers Expeditionary Farce, on this morning’s ride. Just the new slimmed down Fred, who we met on the other side of the road just after Lamanva. Mike 2 and Andrew hailed the Union Corner contingent, Mike, Ian, John, and myself, at Argal crossroads, and, whilst I pretended not to see them, the other two stopped, so I had to join them. Andrew was on a sit down strike about having to cycle all the way to Halvasso turn and as we refused to join in, he went home again. Ian had gone on to tell those at the other place, hence why Fred, followed closely by Paul, Phil3 and Simon, was coming the other way. They had already decided on a destination for the morning’s ride, Tehidy, which seemed just about right as Mystic Meg suggested it would start raining at 1pm. She was only 3 hours out, as the first drops were felt as we left Troon, bound for Barripper. Several stopped to don waterproofs but having the advantage of my Altura Night Vision weatherproof jacket, available from Evans Cycles, I could push on.

Emma had turned up again at Union Corner but still not being confidant that she could keep up with us youngsters, went off on her own. We were fated to remain an odd number of cyclists, or should that be a number of odd cyclists. Whichever way we seemed to be the centre of attention when we walked into Tehidy café. The weather meant sitting inside but two table were available, and pushed together accommodated all nine of us. Fred’s new phone was the main talking point.

It was still raining when we came away, taking the usual route back past Moll’s, along the cycle track to St Euny, Carnkie, Piece, 4 Lanes and Stithians, then separating as we do on the way back to Falmouth. With impeccable timing I arrived home just as the rain stopped. 40 miles for me. Dean

*John Denver.

Huff & Puff (not necessarily in that order).
Sep 20, 2017, 10:12 pm
After Saturday's rain the weather was set fair for this annual event. Despite many riders missing due to the French holiday/challenge and the Coast and Clay sportive we had fifteen Wheelers turn up at Stithians watersports cafe.
I'm afraid to say two other Wheelers, not mentioning any names, failed to support this event and went and did their own thing! I don't want to go on about this but shame on you. As I said I'm not mentioning names, you know who you are Amanda and Phil 2. Oops!
This year electric assisted bikes entered for the first time including Bob's trike which I prefer to call a car! It is a powerful beast and so is the trike!
I won't bore you with the format but the normal shenanigans of working out the pairings took place similar to herding cats on a bad day! Eventually we were ready for the off with the faster riders turning left from the entrance and slower ones to the right, hopefully meeting somewhere on the circuit and returning from whence they came.
The 1st pair back together were our esteemed chairman Simon and his partner Bob. Bloody fix I hear you cry! Runners up were Phil 4 and our revered president Mr Don Gunner and in 3rd place Raymond and Barbara. All received prizes of vouchers of various denominations to spend at the cafe.
Next year I'll be ramping up the prizes to attract more participants. 1st prize will be a weeks stay in Ponsanooth courtesy of Fuller's Hotels.com and the runners up will get 2 weeks!
We had electric bikes in each of the first 3 places and if the trend for elecricket bikes continues they maybe in a separate section, next year, along with mobility scooters.
I'm afraid health and safety has reared its ugly head and judging by the age and state of some riders we will be having St. Johns ambulance in attendance next year and just in case there will be a hearse on standby!
I look forward to running the Huff and Puff in future as it's an event any member of club can participate in and with those mind boggling prizes up for grabs I expect a better turnout next year.

Coast to Coast Sportive
Sep 17, 2017, 7:33 pm

 Apologies for not taking part in the Huff and Puff today, but you can't be everywhere at once, and Paula, Sheila and I went over to St Columb to tackle the 44 mile ride in the Coast and Clay Sportive, which is very well organised, and raises funds for three worthy causes...The weather was lovely (thank goodness!) although very wet roads and some mud and debris made things a bit more challenging than last year.  There were plenty of tough hills and fabulous views.  Twice, other riders admired our blue FW jackets and made admiring comments about the design - they certainly help fly the flag for Falmouth!  Altogether a great ride, and for Paula, it was only one week after she finished her LEJOG.'      Liz      


Hill Climb 2017
Sep 16, 2017, 10:59 pm

With half the Wheelers away in foreign parts and the chairman’s texts to the defending men’s champion getting lost in the ether the turnout was still surprisingly good – seven riders.  This included Caroline, defending women’s champion and new kid on the block Teresa.

No traffic chaos at the waterside start of Weir Hill this year, just a boat being turned round on its trailer through the riders waiting for their start.  Times were faster this year according to Trevor’s Swiss made stopwatch, with both the course records for the men and the women being broken, this despite the absence of some of the Wheeler’ top climbers. 

Our thanks to Hilary for providing some excellent burgers and hot drinks afterwards as the results were announced at her kitchen table;

Women   1.  Teresa    -  3:56  CR

                2.  Caroline -  4:17

Men        1.  Chris        -  2:25  CR

               2.  Trevor     -  2:40

               3.  Ian           -  2:54

               4.  Simon     -  3:00

               5.  Jim          -  3:38

Thanks also to Parky for timekeeping again (and for showing us the restored donkey whim).  Despite the invitation no electric bikes showed.  




C'est si bon, OGIL say this in France
Sep 13, 2017, 11:04 pm

What is blue at one end, yellow at the other and red in the middle? Todays OGIL “peloton”. That is Simon and Mike 2 at the front, me in the middle and Mike and John following up the rear. Today was National Cycle to work day but there was little evidence of this, just the usual lady cyclist we meet along the road towards Treverva, so where were the half a million bikes that have been bought under the bike to work scheme? Not many to be seen on our ride today, and that’s for sure.

Simon said he had given some serious thought to today’s route but I think he just picked up the subliminal messages I had been giving out “Helston boating lake”. Not very awe inspiring, I know, but wait and see.

Whilst waiting at the other place, Emma came along but we were unable to persuade her to join us. Another new bike, Emma? Well, that’s just 499,999 to account for.

I felt quite confident pulling out on to the main road at Longdowns for the little climb up to Crane garage. You see I have bought a natty little bar end mirror from Evans Cycles. It’s a sturdy little thing, said to have been designed by BMW, doesn’t flap about like some and being flat doesn’t make the traffic appear further away than it is. I can recommend it.

Simon’s plan was for us to go via Porkellis, follow the Mince Pie ride in reverse across to Truthall halt, the railway is looking very smart, and instead of then turning to Helston, take a loop round to Breage before dropping back to the lake. This, of course, took us through Sithney, past Auntie Gills. There was a sign in the window saying “Open” but thinking that this was most likely left since the weekend, or earlier, Simon suggested that as it was early doing the loop but calling in again and if definitely closed drop down to Helston. If the loop wasn’t exactly new roads it was certainly roads done in the opposite direction than usual, which means “up” and with the more than pleasant surprise, on returning to Sithney, of seeing that there were cars in the car park and the café door was definitely wide open. And just in time as the rain had started.

We couldn’t have received a better welcome. No eggs on toast today but “Qu’ils mangent de la brioche”, the portions as generous as the welcome. I had thought that Trevor and Gill (was this her second or third return from retirement?) were only opening on Sundays but it seems that she has been open every day but Mondays, and will continue for another two weeks.

Unusually, the rain had gone over by the time we left and we made our way back to Falmouth in the sun. Simon found us some more hills along the way to make up for those of us not attending tonight’s hill climb. 37 miles for me. Dean

Whittle down the wind
Sep 10, 2017, 8:17 pm

I don’t usually do Sunday ride reports, as you know, but, if I am going to progress in my new career as Blogger, then I need to increase the number of my followers. There was a young woman the other day who is a social influencer; that’s the proper name for someone who earns money from promoting items on their blogs or on facebook or Instagram. She has 250K followers and earns three times what she used to earn as a teaching assistant. Mind you, her selfies in the bathroom mirror were a little more appealing than mine would be. So, I thought, I need to get my own niche market, and I think I have cracked it. The Grey Pound, the silver surfers. There’s got to be a few around, even in the Wheelers. Well, I was sent a tube of haemorrhoid cream on Friday. I have sent the film off to Truprint and should have the photos back for a write up to go with the OGIL ride report next week. But that’s enough about me. I suppose some of you will want to hear about Sunday’s club ride. Well, with the French trip on going, Paula finishing the LeJog and still lots away on holiday, it was a motley bunch at HQ this morning. 13, I think it was, and well past 9 o'clock when some one suggested the Blue Bar, at Porthtowan. You know the route better than me. Ben seemed to be struggling to keep up at Halvasso so made his excuses and went off on his own; Richard74 and Liz, were the next to fall beside the wayside and when we stopped at Simon’s house, en route, Theresa decided to go to visit her mother instead. Simon is at deaths door with a cold but managed to come to the gate to speak. Mystic Meg had suggested that it would rain at 11am and almost on the dot, as we dropped down the valley into Porthtowan, the rain started. I had ordered and was sitting around the table with Jim, Phil2 and Mike before I realised that Trevor, Raymondo and John had taken one look at the Blue bar menu and decamped to the café next door. The conversation was mainly about them so I’ll not repeat it here.

It was still raining when we left and the forecast blustery winds had arrived too. There used to be a pub called the 4 Winds; we met up with 3 of them today. You can guess which one had had a lie in. Whilst Trevor and Raymondo turned right, up Rose Hill and towards Porteath, the rest of us headed back up the valley to Scorrier, Treskerbys, Lanner, etc. Phil2 was the next to split, at Stithians, followed by John, at Longdowns; the morning ride being whittled down to just Mike and myself by the time we passed through Halvasso. With excellent timing we got back to Falmouth just as the rain ceased and the sun came out. 42 miles for me. Dean

What, in these shoes?
Sep 6, 2017, 11:06 pm

I have been looking into this blogging malarkey. It seems that you can get paid for mentioning certain items in your blog. Product placement, they call it and with 100,000 followers you can earn £2K a time. So.

It was rather cool at 8 o’clock this morning but Mystic Meg suggested that there would be no rain, and it would probably get too warm later to wear my Altura Night Vision jacket, from Evans Cycles. Although it is guaranteed water proof and wind resistant, it is a little bulky, too much to pop into my back pocket. I was also excited about the first trip out in my new Shimano touring shoes, a birthday present from the children, to think of checking whether my old jacket was still in the frame bag. I remember that when my dad was the age I am now, he usually got some socks or a packet of those little cigars that were popular then.

I didn’t expect anyone else to be waiting at Union Corner so pressed on to the other place. Just Mike 2 there, picking blackberries as he waited. Simon had already let me know that he was heading out to Scorrier first thing to wave on Jasmijn Muller (above), a young Dutch woman who is attempting to break the Women’s World Record LEJOG, 1000 mile and 24 hour records. She had also intended to break the LEJOGLE record but was delayed in starting for 24 hours so was going to run out of the time she had support. Texting “Portreath” to Simon we were on our way, both expecting the other to navigate. We shouldn’t have worried as Simon met up with us after a few miles and took charge. Bolenowe came and went as did Pool and Coombe. Coming out on to the North coast the sun was breaking across Carbis bay. “What’s that town over there” asked Mike. “St Ives. I have an extra hour today; we could go there, replied Simon. So we did.
Hanging our bikes on the railings above the beach we found a window seat in the Balcony Bar and ordered. Simon, in honour of those on the French trip had French toast. Jasmijn, averaging a gnats whisker less than 20mph was well on her way to Exeter.

All good things must come to an end and eventually we were navigating our way through the holidaymakers, round past the Tate and up the hill. I thought Simon was going to take us around again as he then headed straight down, back into town, but we threaded our way through the traffic to retrace our route to Lelant. From there it was Hayle, Connor Downs, Praze and homewards. The knacker man pulled his truck over to one side as we trudged up the long drag after Praze and waited for us as we approached. I felt the appropriateness of his actions.

Simon left us to head to Four lanes, whilst Mike and I turned right, for Carmenellis. Though there were a few spots of rain about at this point the sun was quickly out again and I returned to Falmouth in full sun, and spot on 60 miles. Dean

The Prelude
Aug 30, 2017, 10:08 pm

For some reason Mr Garmin decided that today he would change his display to metric. I think he was just pointing out that he would have very much liked to join those departing on the “French Trip” this weekend. Well, at least he would get the chance to ride with most of them this morning, I thought, on their last trial ride before the great off. How exciting, everyone testing the luggage carrying capabilities of their bikes and showing off their prowess in getting a quart in to a pint pot. Kath was the only wheeler at Union Corner, and even she said that she was just about to go home again if I hadn’t turned up. It was the same story at the other place; Mike 2, Paul and Keith. “2 wet 4 me”, texted Bernie. There was slight rain and everyone seemed to have a different idea about whether it was going to cease, continue, or get worse, but there was no difference of opinion as to our destination; Miss Molly’s. Without either Bernie or Fred to guide us it was left to me to lead off – the usual route out to Carnkie, Bolenowe and Troon; except that, to shorten the journey, we turned right when we hit the Helston to Camborne Rd. Just over the boundary into Camborne I suffered a deflation of the front tyre. Quickly the others formed their bikes into a circle, as protection from possible attack. However, as I removed my front wheel I became aware of some strange guy pulling at my saddle. “Excuse me, young man, but do you mind enlightening me of your intentions”, I said. “Well, if you’re having the wheels, I’m having the saddle” was his reply.

Inner tube replaced we continued on our way and reached Moll’s just as the rain stopped. Our diminutive number fitted comfortably around the table in the window and, the café being unusually quiet, we were soon served. Good food deserves good conversation, and today was no exception.

Surprisingly, there was little more than the odd drop of rain as we set off back home; Brea Village, cycle track to St Euny and Piece. Just as we reached 4 Lanes I suffered my second deflationary experience, don’t these things happen in such lovely places, and I extracted a minute slither of granite that I had previously missed from the front tyre. Mike 2, having failed to notice that we had all stopped, cycled on and was at Stithians before he realised he was on his own. The sun was shinning for the last few miles. 57 kilometres for me, you can do the math.


Ride report OGIL ride Wednesday 23/08
Aug 24, 2017, 1:31 pm

Where were we going?


6 of us left Union Corner, no Dean though, he had already handed in his absence note. There was a positive crowd waiting for us at Halvasso Halt, one visiting rider from Australia, friend of Mike’s, whose name escapes me and far too many to be mentioned now. Keith handed me my arm warmers that he had gratefully borrowed a few weeks ago when the weather turned wet and cold.  Admiral very admirably put these in his bar bag and with a shout from Fred of Portreath we set off for Porthowan.

The route was straightforward, Greek Church, Chacewater, where Amanda left us, Dangerous Crossroads, a bit of a wiggle round and down the hill into Porthtowan. We had also lost Simon en route as he went home to change his bike as he was having trouble with his seat.  He caught us up again but not before we left Porthowan. 

The coffee stop was good with a bit of nifty queue jumping by some local ladies, virtually elbowing Bernie out of way, how rude!!  My Banana bread was well worth it and 3 times the size of Phil 3’s bakewell slice. John’s egg on toast had a really golden yolk and someone had a full English.  There were a number of flapjacks eaten and one Hot Chocolate ordered.

We left the café with a wave to Gill Lightfoot who was on the beach and headed off up Rose Hill, and on to the top of Lanner. I should imagine Paul left us here with the rest of us turning right with Stithians being the next stop. We ignored the Road Closed signs going back down the Halvasso road and had a traffic free ride only needing to skirt around the BT lorry. Phil 1 led the way back to base.

I’ve managed to mention everybody except 1 rider who I just can’t think who you are and am really sorry.  I’ll remember who you are the minute I send this. – Got it, Trevor was with us at the start and departed somewhere along the way.

I think we did just over 40 miles. I used my Garmin today instead of Strava and I’m going to try to download the route on to the laptop.  Good luck with that I say.



Sunday 20th August
Aug 21, 2017, 5:52 pm

With a forecast of a wet day ahead after a brief but heavy shower I set off for H.Q. thinking no-one else will turn up as I pedalled on through the mizzle but there at Argal cross roads there appeared a yellow coated cyclist from the Mawnan Smith direction, it was Phil 3! This is most unpleasant I said a muffled reply was heard, a mutual understanding that we must both be mad and that we had to do a ride now as at least one other person had ventured out.

We both arrived at H.Q. to be joined shortly by several other keen wheelers ready for a good days cycling!! Full of enthusiasm or what purports to be such 10 of us set off for Helston boating lake by a route not quite Poldhu. The weather varied from damp to mizzle to rain a typical summers day in Cornwall.  Eggs on toast are fast becoming a staple diet for the OGIL contingent and went down very well. Several interesting conversations took place unfortunately I can’t remember what they were about but I know holidaying in France was mentioned SUN SUN SUN.  And so we made our way home the rain becoming more persistent.

So a big round of applause to the silly bu—ers who came out on Sunday Phil3, Dean, John, Jo, David (with his panniers and tent,) Mike, Andrew, Don M, Nick and yours truly.

Fred  I don’t know about 40miles

No events scheduled today.

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We're a local group of cyclists of all ages and cycling abilities who enjoy meeting up to ride for fitness, pleasure and socialising.
We ride all year round and organise rides around Falmouth, throughout Cornwall, the UK and abroad. We strongly encourage beginners and will always have a ride to accommodate them and those who might not be able to go too far because of health reasons. Competent children are welcome accompanied by an adult and all riding is on road (apart from Tuesday night off-road rides). We welcome new members and hangers on, so if you would like to ride with us, think you can handle having the micky being taken and can buy the odd round, come and join us. After riding out 3 times with us you will be asked to join up.
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 I wish I had said that...
"Marriage is a wonderful invention; but then again so is the bicycle puncture repair kit." - Billy Connolly
 I wish I had said that Pt.2
When I was a kid, I used to pray every night for a new bicycle. Then I realized that the Lord, in his wisdom, doesn't work that way. So I just stole one and asked him to forgive me. ------ Comedian Emo Philips
If you thought whizzing down Budock Water Hill was
exciting take a look at these London bike messengers
 I wish I had said that Pt.3
It never gets easier, you just go faster. -Greg Lemond
 I wish I had said that Pt. 4
"Whoever invented the bicycle deserves the thanks of humanity" - Lord Beresford

If you want to beg, borrow or steal any articles or our pictures (as if) we will take it as a compliment. No, really, we will.

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