Falmouth Wheelers
Sunday November 19 2017 
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 Welcome to Falmouth Wheelers



Many thanks to Richard for another interesting quiz.

But he has one apology.

Hereford is NOT on the Severn. I cannot think WYE I made that mistake! R75 





Preliminary details of the next French Trip can be found in the Members Pages.


Ed's Mince Pie Audax is on Sunday 3 December. Numbers are restricted to 80, so get those applicatiosn in this weekend. Details on the Audax Info page.


Nominations for Awards!

Voting will take place at the November meeting.




Latest News

Phil me up*
Nov 17, 2017, 4:15 pm

If there is an optimum number for a successful OGIL ride then this week we were just about three quarters Phil’d. I was just in time to catch Phils1 & 2 as they set off from Union Corner and Phil3 was waiting with the others at Halvasso turn. It can’t have been the weather that put off “our girls” as, although a little chilly it promised a bright day. We did have occasion to doubt that forecast, as we climbed up through Halvasso and noted that it was indeed black over Bill’s mother’s.

As a change from our weekly rides either West or North West, the destination was to be the Penrose Garden, a little pricier than most of the cafes we frequent but we get a warm welcome and the food is excellent. Simon nominated himself as ride leader and set off, at what was significantly more than the sedate pace one might otherwise associate with this veteran bunch. His directions took us out to Stithians and left past Burley Aquatics before re-joining our more usual route to Burncoose, Twelveheads, Chacewater and the airport. The lanes were wet and looked slippery but all went without incident.

Unusually, the café was empty when we arrived. Previously there have been other patrons and at least one couple huddled together on the corner seating, on an assignation from County Hall, someone suggested.

Our host was quite happy to put the menu to one side and accommodate our individual peccadillos. Toast and marmalade seemed popular, though Mike2 ordered the full breakfast. But his eyes are much larger than his stomach and he redistributed many the items from his plate, mostly, I seem remember, to Phil3’s. It, probably, also led to Mike being the first for declaring it to be a “2 coffee” stop. 1 hour 15 minutes later, we were finally on the move again, along the delightful narrow lanes that bring you out at the less delightful Threemilestone park and ride. After Tomperrow and the climb up to the Carnon Downs road, we went straight across and down to Twelveheads again. Mr Garmin was happy. Simon asked just how Mr Garmin responded to a new road. He chuckles; don’t all Garmin do this? At Twelveheads we retraced our route out as far as Cusgarne before turning off to Frogpool. Phils 1&2, and myself diverted towards Perranwell, and Hangman’s hill etc, whilst Simon led Phil3, Mike 2, Keith and Fred on to Stithians. 38 miles for me. Dean


*Steve Winwood

Not a club time trial 5th November 2017
Nov 16, 2017, 10:44 am

Due to legal issues the club’s committee were not able to sanction this years time trial but after being asked by some members if I would time them on the Zoar- Mawgan-Zoar 10 mile course purely to satisfy their own curiosity about their own fitness I suggested that I would lead a ride and run an ad hoc TT on route.

Although there was a large gathering at HQ only five members fancied joining me to ride to St Keverne via Mawnan Smith, Porth Navas, Constantine & Gweek and then directly to Zoar Garage where we found three others waiting including non club member Andy.

With Shane unable to marshal this year it was left to the eight keen contestants leaving at one minute intervals to take care of themselves at the turning point but fortunately they all returned safely.

With news of Amanda’s return this year Emma our reigning ladies champion panicked and booked a last minute trip to Malta leaving Amanda to take the crown in a personal best time for an unprecedented fifth time. In the men’s class although Robin improved his time from last year and remains the clubs champion the fastest time of the day was taken by Andy.

Following the visit to Roskillys cafe for brunch it was onto St Keverne for a twisting, climbing and apologies for a rather muddy/sh*ty route back along local lanes to Gweek where some of us stopped for refreshments.

Trevor 2



Andy Blake       



Robin Snelson



Ian Murrels



Amanda Hudson



Raymond Tucker



Simon Jones



Phil Conroy



Jim Middleditch



Приключенческие семь
Nov 3, 2017, 9:31 pm

It's not only the Wednesday 9am OGILs who have been enjoying these dry sunny days - seven of the slightly slower 9.30am group gathered at Union Corner this week; Sonjia, Sheila, Trevano Dave  - he'll always be that, even after moving to Mawnan Smith a year ago - Don M, Mike and his brother in law Chris, and myself.  The usual discussion - where to go?  We decided on Helston Boating Lake by the 'northern route,' so we headed out via Halvasso towards Stithians, Nine Maidens Down, Black Rock, then south towards Helston with a detour past the Trevano estate, now owned by a Russian. The 'Keep Out' and 'Trespasses will be prosecuted' notices posted all along the outside wall were distinctly unfriendly, which is a shame, as when Trevano was open to the public it was a favourite Wheelers watering hole, with a good cafe in the huge old greenhouse, peacocks on the lawn, and pleasant smells coming from the soap makers in the courtyard....as sad loss. On we went, past the lane up to Dave's old home, the meeting place for several memorable November Pathfinder rides over to Perranuthroe, which were followed by a wonderful tea on our return.  Dave admitted feeling quite nostalgic!  So, a few more hills and we came out on the A394, turned left down to the Boating Lake, where the swans and ducks were fed by the kids as we sat in the sun and enjoyed what was on offer at the cafe. Then home via Porkellis and Carnkie, a very good 37 miles.                       Liz

A cunning plan
Nov 1, 2017, 9:18 pm

Phil3, yes really, it was he and not Phil1, had a cunning plan to bring the OGIL ride back to a more sensible speed. By suggesting the destination, and stating that he would lead, he could, he thought, lower the speed to something a bit more sedate. It was a good plan. Simon added his pennyworth by stopping after just a few miles, and proceeded to take his rear wheel out, have a good look at it, pump up the tyre a tiny bit more, squeeze it a few times, and put it back in again. Kath has been saying that she would like to do a course on bike maintenance but was not one of those who stopped to support/watch this episode, and so missed out on seeing an expert randonneur at work. Phil’s destination was the Krowji, at Redruth, but by a less familiar route. Halvasso was dismissed, at least for the route out, and we continued on the Constantine road, as far as Brill, before turning towards the A394, across and on to Wendron school. After a short, but unpleasant, stretch on the Helston-Redruth road it was a left to Bodilly, down to Crowlas and through to Praze. These were mostly roads we were all familiar with but in a different combination that made them appear fresh. Mr Garmin picked up a couple of new lanes but refused to acknowledge the stretch of main road after the Poldark Mine as he said he wouldn’t let me do that bit again any time soon.

From Praze it was Carnhell Green, Barripper and (main road again) Camborne. Signs to Miss Molly’s were spotted but we travelled on, through the monstrosity of a housing development behind Tesco, along the cycle track and eventually arrived at the Melting Pot café. Under new management since I last visited it has a more extensive and very reasonably priced menu. Phil was awarded just the 5 penalty points; 2 for using the main Helston to Redruth Road, and 3 for exceeding the 23 mile limit before the café stop, but he got oooddles of bonus points for recycling old lanes.

We managed to squeeze the nine of us, Kath, Ian, Keith, Mike2, Phils 1& 3, Simon and myself, around the one table. Conversation, apart from wishing Martyn a speedy recovery, was as entertaining as it was eclectic.

Retracing our steps to St Euny, we returned via Piece and 4Lanes. The usual dispersal took place leaving Kath, Phil1 and myself to return to Union Corner, where we met Mike and his brother in law out on a cosy little ride for two.

Another bonus day and 40 miles for me. Dean

It gives the Devil a bad name
Oct 30, 2017, 5:25 pm

“You are logged in to the web site for the DARTMOOR DEVIL. From here there may be no return. What awaits you is over 100Km of testing terrain, with over 2000 metres of climbing, and descents along twisty lanes, probably coated with debris from autumnal storms”. This is the greeting one gets from the Dartmoor Devil webpage; What is there not to like? Some may fill their bucket list with canoeing down the Grand Canyon; at a tenner, this seemed more up my street. The ride has been organised by one Kevin Presland for the last 25 years, this being his last. For Raymondo it was his 8th, Trevor just one behind and Phil1 a few less. This was my first, and almost definitely, my last.

A 9am start was not too unreasonable, even through we had been robbed of an hour sometime in the night (Phil1 has told me that he gained an hour. He could be right), and the steep, but short, lane out of Bovey Tracey gave a gentle introduction as to what lay in store. I lost contact with Phil when my extra front light flew off on a rutted road surface and spread components across the road and the next few k were not too challenging but my enthusiasm started to wain when I noticed a flat rear tyre. Devon farmers start hedge trimming later than their Cornish comrades. I lost 15 minutes here and having only packed 2 spares another flat would mean I might have to turn for home. A 1 in 5 was manageable but took its toll and I was relieved to reach the second control, though dismayed that this was only the quarter way mark. Having left navigation to Mr Garmin I had only given the route sheet a cursory glance, not paying too much attention to the obvious clues, “up long climb” and “up a series of hills to high moor”. At times I was going so slowly that Mr Garmin thought I had stopped, so shut down. It was quicker to walk. When on the moor the roads were more undulating and without Max (Headwind) would have been almost pleasant. Eventually the route actually turned down one of the many lanes signposted “Chagford” and I climbed the stairs to the control in the upstairs room of the Globe Inn, with only a couple of minutes to spare. Hot soup and a chat worked wonders, though the chap I was chatting to informed me that he was turning back home. Mr Garmin had downloaded the ride in 2 uneven parts, the first, 78k to Princetown, and part 2 the remaining 18k to the finish at Manaton. If I could just get to Princetown.

The approach to Princetown was heralded by first Phil, then Raymondo and Trevor freewheeling down the hill and the Foxtor Café was crowded. If they all thought they could get back in time, perhaps I could do too.

“I think there is just the one hill on the last section” said a younger guy. He obviously hadn’t paid much attention to the route sheet either. He was with two others who were having as much trouble with the hills as I was. A deviation from previous years was to miss out “Widecombe Hill” but the alternative, described as a “fabulous if rather tough minor road called Bone Hill” was still long and hard. "Faecal matter", I mutter to myself. As the distance to the finish dropped; 13miles, just about the ride back from Stithians; 5 miles, Halvasso corner to home; I finally realised that I might finish. Just half a mile and I was overtaken by the stronger of the group of three, but turning the next bend he was stretched out in the lane, yards from his bike. He had thrown up a stick, which had jammed itself between his forks; his bike stopped dead, and for a moment I thought he had too. But apart from loss of blood, skin, and lycra, he was ok and I got him back on his feet and walking, towards the finish, with 5 minutes to spare. There was a Haloween theme to the ride and he fitted in just right.

Trevor and Raymondo were at the bar, having a drink whilst waiting for me. Not wishing to delay them anymore I just had a swift half. The Kestor Inn is 4 miles outside Bovey so there is the small matter of the ride back, in the dark. Raymondo was good enough to loan me one of his front lights and after picking up my “AAA” badge, we set off. “Your coat really glows in the dark”, said Trevor, "you should include details of it in your report". Remind me to do that.


* photo is from an earlier year

More Wheelers than you shake a stick at.
Oct 28, 2017, 4:02 pm

It’s been a busy week so have only just been able to sit down and make up, put together this week’s OGIL report; so, if I miss anyone out or am short on detail, you’ll understand. Fortunately Mr Garmin was fully recharged so could remind me just where we went; The Atlantic at Portreath, and how we got there, and back, but not the names of those involved. Which is a pity, as one way or another this week could have been the biggest number of Wednesday morning Wheelers, since, well, since Mr Gunner was a lad. Notice I didn’t use the expression OGIL, Wednesday’s gathering was way beyond this simple categorisation.

Ian had brought his carer/neighbour along, Franky (apologies if spelt wrong), and, together with Amanda, he brought the average age down well below the OGIL qualification mark, and increased the average speed well above it. Simon, Keith, Phil3 and Mike2 joined us at Halvasso Parkway and a suggestion of Portreath was duly considered and accepted. As a slight deviation to the route out, via Bolenowe and Troon, we missed out the outskirts of Camborne, and took in Kehelland before Coombe and the now regular trip along the North Coast. It was a bit muddy in places but Mr Garmin was pleased to add a new road to his list.

Cosily seated around the same table as our last visit, but ensuring that we did not touch hips, we ordered and partook of our well-deserved refreshments. We were surprised when Sonjia and her cohorts arrived; five of them that included Jane and Dom M, but learnt that Amanda, who had turned back early had met up with them on the way out. But we were more than surprised when the third band of Wheelers descended on the café. Big Bob, on two wheels, and Mr Gunner, were both non battery assisted and were being looked after by Barbara and Mr & Mrs Red Leader. Trevor did say I might end up with a broken nose if I included him in the report but for some reason out of the total of 20 his name wasn’t the one I have forgotten.

It was a longer than usual stop but Simon realised he was supposed to be elsewhere and rushed off. He had been entertaining a couple of us with tales of his Court experiences so it was surprising that, after recounting the story of the murderer who was caught because he later stole a sandwich, he rushed off with out paying for his full English. Visiting times will be posted when known.

The ride back was without incident, other than the number of traffic lights encountered through Redruth, and we eventually turned off and went our separate ways; just Mike and myself returning to Falmouth. Weather-wise a bonus day and 43 and a bit too fast
miles for me. Dean

Pedal & Puff
Oct 24, 2017, 1:40 pm

For those of you who don’t participate in this annual event you would be forgiven for thinking it sounds rather dubious .  The name perhaps even suggests that some of your fellow Wheelers are involved in shady practices, making an extra bob or two on the side and under the counter.  But then you may have got confused by some of the alternative spelling in the title.

16 Wheelers abandoned HQ and got paired up with 14 Road Runners inside the Sports Club.  Fastest Wheeler was paired with slowest Runner and vice versa.  Denise and Barbara were gently but firmly moved up the rankings on their electric bikes.  Cards were issued to be exchanged with your partner when you “bumped”.  Roy of the Runners carefully explained the format, and the route agreed in advance as displayed on the wall, to the initially attentive audience. The usual breakdown of order then ensued over why we couldn’t ignore the one-way system round the Point. 

Needless to say the format of the event is a closely guarded secret, wrapped in an enigma, and cannot be published for fear of prosecution. But the event ran like clockwork in excellent weather conditions.  Robin and his Runner were first back simultaneously and were each awarded a bottle of best Chateau Falmouth Merlot.  Chris White and her Runner received finely turned wooden spoons.  Paula carried away another bottle in the spot prize raffle. The bar staff provided excellent hot bacon baps and hot drinks.  A good time was had by all and a number of us then went off for a shorter than usual Sunday ride to one of The Star’s in the local firmament. 

Many thanks to Roy and the Runners for their hospitality.  We hope to have a repeat next year.


Sylvia’s Mother*
Oct 18, 2017, 10:37 pm

“Our Girls” outnumbered Phil1 and I as we set off from Union Corner this morning. Sylvia, having a day off work to mark the end of the latest parental visit, joined Emma and Amanda. In honour of this wondrous occasion, Sylvia’s attendance, not her parents going home, we accepted her bid of “The Miners & Mechanics”. This is not to be confused with Mike and the Mechanics from a couple of weeks ago. Now locally known as MMI this is the former Passmore Edwards Institute at St Agnes, which hosts a cafe. It is small but not out of the way.
Simon was waiting for us as usual at the other place with the M&Ms and Phil3 and, with no other bids; we were soon on our way. Sylvia not only chose the destination but suggested the route as well; out around the back of Stithians, across to Scorrier, and back of Blackwater. Well, we sort of went that way, but took a wider loop, through Mount Hawke. At the junction with the main Chiverton to St Agnes road, Simon declared that it would mean getting to the café before 11, thus breaking one of the rules of the OGIL ride. A detour around through Mingoose and the Beacon was called for, which, unfortunately dropped us into St Agnes the wrong side of the one way system and another hill to climb. 
The Cuckoo café, for that is what it is called, is friendly and, I thought, good value. A group of young mothers and their sprogs were present so we were on good behaviour, conversation topics keeping mainly to trips abroad, especially the M&Ms spectacular 1700m trip through France, with no broken spokes, and the two forthcoming adauxes. Is it Audaxes or audaxi and does it matter.

We did experience a bit of rain on both the way there and back, the latter being along the straight mile to Chiverton, down to Chacewater, Twelveheads and through to Perranwell, via Grenna Lane. After that, folk turned off as they do with just Phil1 and myself climbing up Dracaena Avenue. A Gin Guzzler passed me along Trescobeas Road, sorry, that should be “gas guzzler”. Why was Caroline not out riding with us? I had forgotten to recharge Mr Garmin after my last ride so he wouldn’t tell me how far I had ridden but I was back home by 1:15.



* Dr Hook

A Crafty Slice of Cake!
Oct 12, 2017, 1:09 pm

It was a good day for cycling as a dry morning was forecast with drizzle arriving at 1pm. Paul, Simon, Mike and Keith were waiting at the other place when I arrived and soon came Ian, on his single speed, with two more Phils- Conroy and Eagles. Destination agreed.... Poldhu, will dhu! We were off, down to Gweek, along Gweek Drive and up through Trelowarren and there was Keith waiting for us. But where were the others?
Mike, not for the first time, had pedalled on, past the junction where we sometimes turn left and taken Paul with him. We carried on to the main gate and decided to ride along the main road to Traboe Cross to hopefully meet them there. When they weren’t there I phone Mike and found they had turned on the main road and then left again and would join us soon. As we waited Simon explained how we would cross the downs in relay to ease the load on the first rider and take turns to head into the strong headwind. Avoiding Amanda’s manhole and complete again we set off and soon we were into a rotating relay making the trip across the downs so much easier.
Arriving in Mullion a new cafe destination was found- The Crafty Slice! We were made very welcome and enjoyed great coffee, tea, scrumptious cake and excellent hot food.
The lady asked us where we’d come from and said her husband went cycling with his friends. Our reply was “as we don’t have any friends we cycle with this lot!”
Paul told us about his cycling tour in Corsica and Mike flagged up his performance with his classical guitar group on the 21st at Falmouth Church.
We returned home through Poldhu and Culdrose, choosing not to go up Muddy Lane, but taking the busier road to Wendron. Soon after that Phil1 had a deflation and while we waited a few tried out my new bike. As we headed home in the increasing drizzle we gradually split up and wished Paul well on his month long charity work in Puerto Rico.

Phil Samuel      46 Miles

Another cup of Coffee
Oct 4, 2017, 5:22 pm

There was only one OGIL at Union Corner when I arrived, Admiral. There were four OGIL, that is Our Girls in Lycra, Kath, Caroline, Amanda and Emma, and one Git, one speed Ian, so I was hoping that there would be a balancing of the age range when we got to the other place. Phils 2&3, Mike2, and Trevor. It was going to be a speedier ride than I had planned for. But the forecast was good and my opening bid of Portreath was accepted without dissent. Ian led the way whilst Trevor showed us how group cycling should work, by standing guard at turn offs along the way until all were safely accounted for. We met Jane just as we were about to start off, on her way to meet the 9.30am group. After Bolenowe it was past Molls, across through Tuckingmill and down to the aircraft memorial. Both Emma and Amanda admitted they were a little lost at this point so a short break was called for whilst they read the memorial and took in the sense of the occasion. I had expected that we would then turn right and go past Tehidy after this but Ian, surprisingly for someone on a single speed bike, took us left and through Coombe and “up” to the North Cliffs Road.

There was mention of a new café on the Portreath Road but the Atlantic beckoned and as usual we were made very welcome.

It was snug, eleven of us and a thousand cushions seated around the one table. Whilst we waited for our food we were entertained by a waitress, complete with a stack of full plates, colliding with a “Hells Angel” at the Pool table and the following clean up routine. I made a note to check for tell tale signs on my eggs when they finally arrived.

Conversation, other than comments about the waitress and the biker routine, was mainly concerning the “French Trip” and the approaching vacancy for a Club Chairman. Ian seemed very keen and Trevor volunteered to act as his campaign manager. Well if Boris can be Foreign Secretary!

Amanda, Emma and Phil2 were the first to leave but it had just passed the 1 hour mark when the rest of us finally hit the road, due in part to Admiral and Ian having another cup of coffee, and we hadn’t gone far when we met up with Lance, newer members may not know but he used to be a regular club rider, Mr Gunner and Big Bob, this time only on two wheels. But where was Jane? How many rides are there on a Wednesday morning? We had not gone much further when Mike2 complained of a rubbing sound from his rear wheel. Trevor and myself stopped to investigate whilst the others went on, under the leadership of Ian. Mike’s problem was quickly diagnosed as a broken spoke, but even Chief Mechanic, Trevor, with his little tool, couldn’t fix it. Mike decided to call home and we escorted him to the “Retail Park” at Bridge where there is a small café and where he could have another cup of coffee and wait until Linda could collect him. By now, Ian, displaying all of the qualities expected of a club chairman, had lost the rest of the group. We decided to take the main road back to Redruth. When Phil3 rang me we were just a mile the wrong side of Redruth; he was at Lanner hill. I suggested they didn’t wait. So, I was a bit surprised when, as we stood talking at Penhalvean, Caroline and Kath came pedalling up behind us. They had taken the route along the tramway. Which way had Phil3 and Admiral gone? Ian and Trevor turned off at Penmarth, to the Star Inn, to begin planning their campaign. Kath, Caroline and myself continued up the hill to Carnkie, waving goodbye to Caroline at Crane garage. 42 miles for me.


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We're a local group of cyclists of all ages and cycling abilities who enjoy meeting up to ride for fitness, pleasure and socialising.
We ride all year round and organise rides around Falmouth, throughout Cornwall, the UK and abroad. We strongly encourage beginners and will always have a ride to accommodate them and those who might not be able to go too far because of health reasons. Competent children are welcome accompanied by an adult and all riding is on road (apart from Tuesday night off-road rides). We welcome new members and hangers on, so if you would like to ride with us, think you can handle having the micky being taken and can buy the odd round, come and join us. After riding out 3 times with us you will be asked to join up.
Please email:
or refer to the 'FAQ's' page for further details.
 I wish I had said that...
"Marriage is a wonderful invention; but then again so is the bicycle puncture repair kit." - Billy Connolly
 I wish I had said that Pt.2
When I was a kid, I used to pray every night for a new bicycle. Then I realized that the Lord, in his wisdom, doesn't work that way. So I just stole one and asked him to forgive me. ------ Comedian Emo Philips
If you thought whizzing down Budock Water Hill was
exciting take a look at these London bike messengers
 I wish I had said that Pt.3
It never gets easier, you just go faster. -Greg Lemond
 I wish I had said that Pt. 4
"Whoever invented the bicycle deserves the thanks of humanity" - Lord Beresford

If you want to beg, borrow or steal any articles or our pictures (as if) we will take it as a compliment. No, really, we will.

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